Monkey Business- Business Tactics

Monkey Business

Once upon a time in a village in India, a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs.10.

The villagers, seeing there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at Rs.10, but, as the supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their efforts.

So the man announced that he would now buy at Rs 20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs 25, and the supply of monkeys dropped so much that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch one!

The man now announced he would buy monkeys at Rs 50 ! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now act as buyer, on his behalf.

In the man's absence, his assistant told the villagers 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs 35 and when he returns from the city, you can sell them back to him for Rs 50.'

The villagers squeezed together their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man or his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere

Consultant Vs Cowboy-Article make me smile a Lot

Consultant Vs Cowboy

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW 7 Series advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Cartier sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?' Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, Why not?'

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his HP notebook computer, connects it to his Nokia N95 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-Tech Miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.' 'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the Bud says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?' The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?' 'You're an IT Consultant', says Bud. 'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?' 'No guessing required.' answered the cowboy.

'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. . .'
''Now give me back my dog''.